May 2nd, 2017
Six pounds // fourteen ounces
fifty four centimetres
1pm, waters have broken. 3cm dilated. Active labour.
4pm, 5cm dilated. Transition stage – cue vomiting. Into the birthing pool I go.
6pm, 8cm. Urge to push starting but we’re waiting until as close to 10cm as we can.
7:17pm, 10cm & pushing.
7:27pm, Baby A is crowning.
7:29pm, our daughter, Amaia Kingsley Rose takes her first breath in this world.
6 hours and 29 minutes of all natural, drug free labour.
She is 6lb 14oz & 54cm, with a head full of dark hair, bright dark eyes, the sweetest pouty lips & mamas button nose. She looks just like her dad. She is my world in one tiny being. I have known her & held her for ten months & now I am holding my heart outside of my body.
admittedly, I’ve been looking for the words, the flow, the motivation, the everything I need to write this for nearly a year now. Amaia turned ONE last week. And although there was no one waiting on this blog, because no one reads this blog but me, I’m still somewhat disappointed that it’s taken me this long to write it. AND now that I’m writing it, I’ve done it in bulletpoints? Why?
I’ll tell you why.
I’ve been waiting this past year, for the right words to come to me, to describe the journey of labour, what it did for me, what it did to me, how it changed me.
But simply, there is no words. There is no beautiful, poetic flow that’s coming to me to describe my experience. So we’re leaving it raw, honest, and open – bulletpoints and all.
Labour & birth enlightened me. It empowered me, uplifted me and honestly transformed me. The highs made me feel blessed beyond words, the harder parts chewed me up and spat me out. But honestly, if I could relive my labour, I would. I walked into it in control, knowing what I wanted during my birth & thankfully, with an amazing midwife by my side who supported every choice I made and advocated for me every step of the way. I walked out not only with a beautiful baby, born naturally & calmly, but I walked out a different woman. More proud of myself than I can put to words. I know what you’re thinking, girl you just had a baby, shit chill out.
But seriously –
I feel like so many people hate labour. It’s got such a negative stigma, the amount of times I heard “oh I bet you’re just TERRIFIED for labour!” and similar while I was pregnant was ANNOYING. Obviously, people do have traumatic labours. Labour doesn’t always (actually mostly never) goes precisely how we want it to, but the cloud of fear and negativity that shrouds labour is so sad to me, & so off-putting to so many mamas to be.
While you’re carrying a baby, the end result, the thing you’re most excited for, is ultimately the birth of your child. No mama should be placed in a state of worry, fear or dread about labour & childbirth. Our bodies are MADE to do this – whichever way they can. Women need to trust the process, trust their bodies, trust their babies, & trust themselves. Women need to believe in themselves, believe they have the willpower & the strength to own their births, through every high and low.
I think for this negative stigma that labour has to be lifted, women need to speak about birth. Preach about birth, (even if you feel like you sound annoying AF). Don’t push your birth out of your mind and try to forget it. Don’t be ashamed of what you “couldn’t do” – you brought your beautiful baby into this world and that makes you amazing. Don’t tell other women how hard birth is – tell them how WORTH it, it is. Tell them to be proud of themselves no matter how their birth goes. If you had a natural birth & you’re proud, FLY that flag. Talk about it. If you had a c-section and you’re also proud, or you want more awareness, fly that flag too! Tell women to ask for pain relief if they need it. Tell them not to be ashamed about crying, screaming, shitting or swearing. We are all amazing. We as females need to turn labour & birth back into something exciting, uplifting, empowering. For every mama.
Alright, so that turned from the story of my daughters birth, to an absolute rant about childbirth & the stigmas around it – AKA something I could rant on about all day. But I’ll leave you be now – hopefully with a different idea in your mind about labour & birth.